We are all tempted sometimes by things we know are wrong. As a Christian man I’m tempted to do things opposite of what God wants me to do and although those things are bad trying them sounds fun. Same thing with cheating, sometimes men get caught up in being curious and curiosity causes them to go after the cat (get it?) and they become so distracted they don’t even notice the bad choice they are about to make until their hormones and ego get the best of them, lead the to making a stupid mistake. You have heard the saying “flee from temptation”, but some men don’t flee. They love the attention, so they stay and make bad decisions.
2.) Fear of getting hurt – past hurts have caused so many men to make horrible decisions to prove a point. Some men cheat to prove to their women they can get someone else. It’s an act of “ I love you, but I don’t need you” a weak way to guard their hearts. Men who do that are usually men who are in love and feel as if their love for you makes them vulnerable. They’ve fallen for you and need to protect themselves from getting hurt like before. So they entertain the idea of other women, they keep thinking this is too good to be true comparing and start to their experiences and act on that thought. They are usually the ones who try their hardest to get their women back with the mindset that “she’s everything I ever wanted why did I mess this up, im a fool”
3.) Lust, the porn effect – Our generation is so confused with what lust and love is that it’s crazy. We’ve reached a point where we gladly choose lust over love. Well it’s killing us, Porn is killing us. I was reading about the bad effects of porn, no wonder so many people cheat. In a huffingtonpost article it says “Heavy porn consumers also had a weaker connection between the striatum and the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain associated with decision-making” I read a couple more articles and one mentioned how it causes men to desire intimacy less etc.You don’t believe most stuff you read online? Well as someone who dealt with porn addiction I say they are true. Porn cause men to want sex constantly, it also cause them to go after women more comparable to the women in the videos. You may say“well why did he cheat on me with an uglier woman who was just easy?” That’s the point, because porn cause you to desire intimacy less and sex more. You go after what’s easy and what’s easy is always willing to be like the girls in the videos. The women they often cheat with will do almost anything they want, at least that’s what those men think. He’s not going after the hoes because you’re not good enough, doesn’t please him enough, but because they are more of a sex object than you are, they are nothing more than sex toys.
4.) Lack of attention & affection – Ever hear this quote “The biggest mistake a man can make is giving another man the opportunity to make his woman smile” Well this applies to men as well. Although I personally believe the quote has very little truth in it, but in a generation that stays in relationships for the wrong reasons and leave relationships for the wrong reasons, it has validity. Men do get distracted and go elsewhere because their women is not giving them enough attention, not making them feel special or like the man. So when a woman who brushes up his ego, make him feel like a king, listens to him, doesn’t nag him etc. come around although she may not be as good as you, but she’s offering more of what he needs than you.
5.) Unfinished Business – he’s just not ready. Remember that quote “ A woman will never be good enough for a man who’s not ready” that was all over instagram? Well it’s true. However, this unfinished business is different. Sometimes when a man notices he has found the right one and thinking about settling down the thought of what’s not done comes to mind. He still has not tried a threesome (doesn’t mean I agree with it just being a realist), Still hasn’t done this or that with his ex (why some go back to sex with the ex), Wants to do this or that before he settles down. It’s like some men tell their bros who are getting married “ are you sure you want to sleep with the same women forever”? This idea exist and some men feel the need to go accomplish what they need to accomplish before they take the next step. (I personally experienced that before and came to the conclusion that I needed to stop being selfish, love is selfless, its about two, not one).
6.) Peer pressure – the least discussed and the last one for this topic. His mom told him if he hangs out with dogs he will get fleas, but she never told him if he hangs out with unfaithful men he can also become an unfaithful man. We all know our circle influence us. Being around his fellas who promote promiscuity and infidelity eventually cause his mind to wonder and sometimes we let our thoughts govern us instead of us govern them.
Culled: Gentlemenhood.com (Pierre Alex Jeanty)
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